I pledge to Linus Torvalds as an incarnation of god

And Judd Vinet as the man who suffered for our closed-source sins

Who created Arch and subjected himself to the suffering that it is

And I applaud the torment every Arch user has to go through to serve under Linus Torvalds

I believe that every Windows user should either switch to linux on all of their devices by any means necessary

Or be subject to the torture of the eternal Windows